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In The Body

from Laugh On Me by TaughtMe

supported by
Dann Chinn @ Misfit City
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about

(For Mariah)
This song is a plea or prayer spoken directly to the body. Like many of us I struggle to be present in my life, to stay in my senses. There are so many ways and reasons to check out, to go numb. In the song I beg my body to pull me along, to keep me awake and engaged. I tried to express a deep urgency and a powerful longing. Life is so short! I want to feel as much of it as possible but I often go dim. Maybe I have my reasons. I was raised in a devout mormon home where I was taught to distrust my own sexuality, taught that masturbation was a grave sin that offended god. As if the body is something to defend against. There’s another layer too. I’ve been recently diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis, an auto-immune disease that causes mysterious pain and terrible stiffness. My body is attacking itself. It’s been difficult at times to trust my own organism, to release into it.

I want be alive during my brief chance. I want to lengthen this time by feeling more of it. It’s not easy. I usually fail. I’m trying.

“In The Body” began as a birthday present for my girlfriend. My wallet empty and her birthday approaching, I decided to gift her a melody. I put it into a voice memo while wandering San Francisco. For many subsequent years I developed the tune, creating various iterations. But despite my efforts I couldn’t solve the song’s riddle so t came with me to Iceland in 2022. Úlfur Hansson invited me to Reykjavik to make an album. The timing was right so I did. He took a strong liking to “In The Body” and had clarity about what it needed. I fidgeted nervously while he dismantled all of my work. He laughed and reminded me that I could always undo his changes, that he wanted to “subvert” the tune for me, to try a different direction. I reluctantly accepted but left the room to leave him to it. After 2 days of work It was clear that the song had found it’s form. We worked to create contrast between the acoustic—more earthy—verses and the expansive choruses with their layers of astral synths. Everything locked into place once Samuli Kosminen—working remotely from Finland—added his dense percussion and explosive crashes.

lyrics

All the other boys sit on me

On my belly

All the other girls rest with me

All the other kids huddle me

At the body

All the other girls laugh on me

Body don’t let me check out

Don’t let me numb the feeling now

Gladden the blood

Arouse

Surround me

Body I’m so afraid

Let up a mood that I can brave

I wanna be awake

Hover easy song over me

Over the body

Bellow and belong beside me

When I carol too

I improve

I am better

So let the singer happen to me

Body go big and bright

Open the treasure on my life

Suddenly realize

Promise of breath come true

Loosen the love and pull it through

Happen to me so soon

A chorus of mothers

hold me as I open up

Several others there watching

Body parade me through time

Marry their voices into mine

I think I’m willing to try!

Scatter a smile on me

Every touch a tambourine

Every face is sweet

Don’t hold back tonight

Spill every bell against my life

Treble into me and move
Like streams giggle through

Spangle my chest with happy dew

Flower into me and bloom
C’mon wake me up

Pull my blood quick enough

How many trys until I get to move?
Don’t leave me stuck in here

Tangled in time

Stiff with fear

Muscle into me and plume
Dance my body through the noise

Cheering my friends as they join

Laughing into me they move

credits

from Laugh On Me, track released July 26, 2023
Blake Aaron Henderson: Sounds, words
Úlfur Hansson: Spirits, Acoustic Guitar, Moog synth
Samuli Kosminen: Much more than drums

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TaughtMe Oakland, California

words and sounds by Blake Aaron Henderson

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